How to deal with dementia patient (my mom)?
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Topic: How to deal with dementia patient (my mom)?
Posted By: zhengmuu
Subject: How to deal with dementia patient (my mom)?
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 9:48am
I care for my mom who was diagnosed with Dementia's disease 3ys ago. I promised I would look after her, but I am exhausted and my job makes me have no time to rest.I really don’t know where to start especially as she keeps saying she doesn’t need any help. What can I do?
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Replies:
Posted By: planetuntiil
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 1:08pm
| First of all, why wouldn't she want any help? I mean its not like you're gonna send her to a nursery or the old folks home right? We owe them our life so doing so would break their heart. Plus not all nursery are good. Some have really bad service |
Posted By: shadajie
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 2:36pm
Yeah i agree with this. TT should not consider that. We wouldn't want to have case like this happening all over again |
planetuntiil wrote:Posted By: planetuntiil
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 2:41pm
Where was that
 ?? I cant watch stuffs like this. I get too emotional. I hope the people who sent his or her loved ones to an old folks home can see this video and realize that the possibilities are there. There are always other alternatives |
Posted By: didicempaka
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 3:54pm
this is so sad.. i wonder how his kid feels leaving him at the old folks home expecting the care taker would take care they parents but in reality their parents had been abused. i hope they take him back home..
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Posted By: didicempaka
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 4:07pm
dementia is a serious disease. dementia patients cant be left alone they could harm theirself. i think if you looking for somebady just to take a look at her maybe you can hire a maid perhaps?
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Posted By: amigobro
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 4:13pm
He could.. But i would suggest DONT. As you mentioned dementia is a serious disease so dementia patients should be monitor and taken care of properly. I doubt that housemaid would be qualify to take care of dementia patients believe me. Last time my maid ran away because she cant take it any longer taking care of my in law.
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Posted By: migujem
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 5:10pm
Although I do not know how serious is your mom's dementia... I think it is best for you to have a short break from all the responsibilities. it is hard to care for someone while being tired and when things get mixed up, we would have a higher tendency to be sensitive and in a negative mood. Would your mom feel at ease when you are juggling around here and there.. sometimes we need to take a few steps back in order to give more. But like other mentioned, I also would highly suggested that you look for some that could substitute your place. Some one that knows at least how to care for dementia patients and more importantly someone that you can rely onto.. |
Posted By: Kuruma
Date Posted: 21 Nov 2018 at 6:06pm
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Story time..when my grandpa was still around... my mother's sibling would take turns on who to care for our grandpa... that way, my whole extended fam always have a gap for resting time, working time and family time. and because of the small time gap that we had, us family were abled to cherish the moments we took care of him instead of taking it as a burden. We were also very very lucky to have found a part timer that would stay for a few days when everyone is too busy. We offered her because she is a neighbour and we know her educational background... But I'm not sure if you have someone nearby that could look after him.. I would highly suggest u search for someone that majored in health and medical line. |
Posted By: jojomojo
Date Posted: 22 Nov 2018 at 12:50pm
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Good afternoon everyone, I was facing the same thing last few years when my father was diagnosed with dementia. Exhausted juggling with work, family and personal time. Bcos we need constant eye on him, we decided to take part-timer. The first few did not really know how to handle dementia patients or what dementia is. I got the recommendation from an office friend of a website caregiverasia. They have flexible services, so you can try and look one that suits you and your mom's needs..
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Posted By: didicempaka
Date Posted: 22 Nov 2018 at 4:56pm
ya maybe youre. dementia patients really do need a serious supervision. maids might not be able to handle them. its quite stressful. but if like that so hard la. how?
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Posted By: amigobro
Date Posted: 22 Nov 2018 at 5:03pm
It is really stressful. In my case previously one of my in law's daughter had to quit her job to take care of her mother. But since tt seems like doesnt has anybody to support her, this seems like and option.
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Posted By: amigobro
Date Posted: 22 Nov 2018 at 5:06pm
Where do you find the part timer? Hows the price rate? Based on hour or 1 time serve? Its may be really helpful if people can find someone with health and medical major though
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Posted By: shadajie
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2018 at 12:00pm
It was 2 years ago at Melaka and went viral. But come to think of it, try to imagine what happens to all those victims that were not viral. I figure there must be a lot of cases like this that are not known to public or media. Which scares me
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Posted By: shadajie
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2018 at 12:04pm
i couldn't agree more with you. Thing is in Malaysia, the community is not familiar with home2home service. They usually just send their loved ones to hosp/care centre and all that. People should be aware that there is a 3rd option
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Posted By: planetuntiil
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2018 at 12:11pm
Definitely no maids in this case. What OP needs is a professional nurse/caretaker. Came across this website the other day https://www.caregiverasia.com/?locale=en-MY Can try to check the services there
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Posted By: meena84
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2018 at 12:12pm
| I have heard of such services been promoted online. But do caregiverasia provide similar service in Malaysia like they do in Singapore? |
Posted By: Kuruma
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2018 at 5:18pm
Well...like I said, we were very lucky. she's a family friend for a long time. But I think in this case something like caregiver can help alot.
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Posted By: 2cent
Date Posted: 23 Nov 2018 at 5:45pm
Every time things like this happens it reminds me of the reasons why I will never send my love ones there
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Posted By: evans
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 12:33am
| Its really saddening to read about dementia stories. Its happens to the best of people, and theres no cure to it. Kudos to you for not sending your mother to nursery homes knowing how terrible some places can be. I understand you are busy and exhausted with work but keep spending time with her, it will mean a lot |
Posted By: gorgor81
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 2:54am
| Taking care of demented old people requires extra care. They may have lost some of their motor skills and tend to wander around, making it dangerous for them to be alone even for a short time. You need constant supervision and care for them. If you cant do it yourself, find trained people to watch over them when you are away |
Posted By: vicobing
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:40am
The thought of sending parents at old folk homes home is just a nightmare.. not to mention how demeaning it is to your parents, after all their hard work
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Posted By: evans
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 10:25am
| Although the situation today its kinda understandable how some people will send their parents away. I'm not commending the act, but at least someone can look after the parents when they are working. However looking at the state of nursery homes nowadays is pathetic, its better to hire sitters instead of sending them to homes |
Posted By: chrissymartin
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 12:56pm
| Ikr, it seems ungrateful especially when they are starting not to remember things. As a child this is the time to show love and care to your parents. They have done so much for us, how unthankful can you be if to send them away after you have succeeded. Surely there are better alternative than sending them to nursery homes right? |
Posted By: sasa
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 8:55pm
| Its nice to see many would not support sending their parents to old folks home. But as someone that have a family member there I think these days the centre is not bad at all. And btw, many refers it as retirement resort now. They have quite everything a retiree would need. |
Posted By: tung22
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:41pm
Most of the nursery homes out there are operating with limited fundings that are usually being donated by the public or any private companies, their workers are also mostly volunteers that earn next to nothing by taking care of the old folks, sad to see those who are living in such poor conditions over there.
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Posted By: meena84
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:46pm
I know a place very near to our neighbourhood area that have this type of service. Will definitely agree with this because doctors and nurses are just floors away and well equipped facility.
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Posted By: tung22
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:51pm
Although they might have problem remembering things but they never forget that you are their child right? Sometimes they might just pretend not to show any feelings but deep down in heart they would feel very hurt, so I am still against the idea of sending your parents to old folks home.
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Posted By: meena84
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:53pm
Still waiting for this feedback.. anyone know? cos if I'm not mistaken the same company have affiliates with several institutions but not in Malaysia
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Posted By: yoyo44
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:55pm
I myself recently just hired a caretaker from Caregiverasia to look after my mum at home who is having some trouble walking on her own, the caretaker is very friendly and seems like she had much experience in taking care of old people, so I can just go to work everyday without worrying too much about my mum.
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Posted By: yoyo44
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 9:59pm
Yes they also provide similar service in Malaysia but not many people knows about it since it is quite new over here, they also provide the same service in Taiwan and even in the US, so you can definitely check it out for yourself.
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Posted By: TrinnyTrin
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 10:04pm
Of course there are private nursery homes that have better facilities but you gonna pay for it and its not gonna be cheap, rather just hire someone to take care of them at their own house as they would be much more comfortable, can easily find caretaker from Caregiverasia.
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Posted By: TrinnyTrin
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 10:06pm
They also provide other types of services such as taking care of babies, pregnant woman and also patients, so if you need anything can just take a look at their website, the prices offered is reasonable too.
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Posted By: evans
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 11:40pm
| Of course there is. You can hire caretakers to come to your house instead of sending your parents to nursery homes where usually its badly conditioned. In your own home you can at least they are having good meals, comfortable and familiar environment. Its easier to monitor too if can install cctvs or anything |
Posted By: evans
Date Posted: 25 Nov 2018 at 11:44pm
| I just visited their website and in my opinion one of their best features is the review and recommendations of the caretakers from previous employers. They can rate the services given by individual caretakers, and this increases the trustability of the takers. Furthermore you can hire by hours which is usually what people would want because they just need to hire caretakers during office hours, not the whole day or month. I would definitely use their service if needed :) |
Posted By: Brolin
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2019 at 2:10am
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I agree it is a serious disease. However, I recommend, you hire a medical professional instead of a maid(who would not know what to do when things go south). Consult her doctor and make a decision based on the stage of dementia she is at. ------------- - Solitary resilience |